


Harmless Pranks

by Adrianna99



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Post-Canon, Prank Wars, Yuri Plisetsky Is So Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 11:36:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12232032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adrianna99/pseuds/Adrianna99
Summary: Yuuri came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Viktor’s waist.“Viten’ka,” he murmured.  “You should know better than to prank me.  My pranks are excellent.”“Oh?” Viktor said with raised eyebrows.  “I sense a challenge there.”Yuuri raised an eyebrow.  “Do you?”“Challenge accepted,” Viktor murmured, and kissed Yuuri quickly.Yuuri just chuckled, eyes sparkling.  “I pity you, Viten’ka,” he said, and gave Viktor quick kiss back.  “I really do.”Viktor watched over his shoulder as his husband sauntered away, a spring in his step, and then grinned in anticipation.[In which Viktor and Yuuri engage in the fluffiest prank war imaginable]





	Harmless Pranks

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this instead of finishing the homework I have due next week, or working on the next chapter of Prodigy, because #priorities. Also married Viktuuri gives me life. Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

“Viktor,” Yuuri called from the kitchen in a level voice. 

Viktor froze guiltily.Yuuri only called him Viktor during formal events, or when he was irritated.Since lying around their apartment in pajamas on their rest day after a long week of practice at the rink didn’t really count as a formal event, Viktor decided that he had probably done something to annoy his husband.It was clear he had done something wrong, but he wasn’t entirely sure what it was exactly he had done. 

“Yes, lyubov moya?” Viktor called in the most innocent voice he could muster, nervously licking his lips. 

“Viktor, please come here,” Yuuri said, an edge to his voice.Damn.He was definitely annoyed. 

Viktor put down his book and stood, keeping the blanket he was cuddled in draped around his shoulders as he shuffled into the kitchen.Yuuri stood with his back to the door, arms crossed and expression blank, staring at the sink. 

Viktor winced. _Oh._ He'd forgotten about  _that_. 

Yuuri had gone out for a morning run earlier, and Viktor had decided to stay home and get a little more sleep.After a few minutes of lying in bed and staring up at the ceiling, he had gotten the brilliant idea to make Makkachin a gourmet breakfast.Half an hour later, as Viktor had scraped the burnt remains into the trash and piled the blackened and dirty pots and pans in the sink and then completely forgotten to wash them, he had decided that perhaps it was best to leave the creative cooking to his Yuuri.Viktor could cook well enough to feed himself, but it seemed gourmet dog breakfasts were beyond him. 

“What’s all this?” Yuuri said in a calm voice, but Viktor could read the annoyance in the set of his shoulders and the slightly downturned corner of his mouth. 

Viktor put his arms around Yuuri, resting his chin on Yuuri’s shoulder.“I have no idea,” he said innocently, batting his eyelashes when Yuuri gave him an incredulous look. 

“Stop that, you look ridiculous,” Yuuri said, but there was a fond tinge to his harsh words.He shrugged his shoulder to dislodge Viktor, and then crossed his arms tighter and said, “Viktor, we’ve talked about this.If you’re going to do something like this, you have to clean up after yourself.” 

Viktor pouted at him.“What if it wasn’t me?” he said plaintively. 

Yuuri rolled his eyes, holding up a pan by the handle that was somehow burned on one half and covered in uncooked  _something_  on the other.“Who else could possibly do  _this?”_

Viktor smiled weakly.“April Fools?” 

Yuuri raised an eyebrow and put the pan back in the sink.“Viktor, it’s February.” 

Viktor shrugged.“February… fools?” 

Yuuri sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.“Please just wash the dishes, Viktor,” he said. 

Viktor pouted at him, but crossed to the sink and complied.“What if it had been a prank, somehow?” he asked as he attempted to chip off the hardened  _something_  on the bottom of a pot.“Would you really not believe me?” 

Yuuri came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Viktor’s waist.“Viten’ka,” he murmured.“You should know better than to prank me.My pranks are excellent.” 

“Oh?” Viktor said with raised eyebrows.“I sense a challenge there.” 

Yuuri raised an eyebrow.“Do you?” 

“Challenge accepted,” Viktor murmured, and kissed Yuuri quickly. 

Yuuri just chuckled, eyes sparkling.“I pity you, Viten’ka,” he said, and gave Viktorquick kiss back.“I really do.” 

Viktor watched over his shoulder as his husband sauntered away, a spring in his step, and then grinned in anticipation.

___________________________________________

 

Viktor was dead to the world, wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket and snuggling in bed with his husband.At least he  _was_ , until an annoying sensation itched at his nose.Still mostly asleep, Viktor twitched his nose and exhaled.The sensation disappeared for a moment and then returned, brushing over the top of his lip and the bridge of his nose.It felt vaguely like something was crawling across his face, and without looking Viktor slapped at his nose, trying to get it away. 

Something in his hand squished wetly across his face, and Viktor’s eyes snapped open.He tasted something sweet on his lips, and something cool and creamy in the palm of his hand.It was clearly still late, or early, because the room was mostly dark.Viktor could barely make out the shadow of Yuuri above him, shaking with silent laughter. 

Viktor licked his lips, and tasted whipped cream on his tongue.“Yuura,” he murmured.“Is this your idea of a prank?” 

“No,” Yuuri whispered, voice soft.He shifted a little in the bed, and then a bright flash and a click startled Viktor, who yelped.“This is the prank,” Yuuri replied and showed Viktor the picture he had taken and uploaded to Instagram, of a sleepy looking Viktor with whipped cream smeared across his mouth and nose.The caption underneath the picture read, “My sweet husband :D #theprankwarison.”Somehow, Phichit had already managed to comment, despite the fact that it was an ungodly hour to be awake in Bangkok. 

“You’re so mean to me,” Viktor whined.He dragged a finger through some of the whipped cream on his cheek and licked it off. 

Yuuri leaned down and kissed him on the lips.“You started it,” he whispered. 

Viktor raised an eyebrow.“Did I?” he said airily.“Well, I guess I’ll have to finish it, then.The prank war  _is_  on.” 

Yuuri laughed.“You don’t know what you’re getting into,” he said warningly. 

Viktor just smiled back.“I could say the same to you, zolotse,” he murmured, and then in a sudden movement rolled on top of Yuuri and kissed him with whipped-cream covered lips. 

“Mph!” Yuuri exclaimed in muffled surprise. 

“But first,” Viktor whispered when he leaned back a little, smiling at the smear of whipped cream on Yuuri’s cheek.“You’re going to help me get this whipped cream off.” 

Yuuri swallowed hard, and pulled Viktor down into another kiss.

 

___________________________________________

 

It had been a few days since Yuuri and Viktor had declared a prank war, and Yuuri was on edge.Yuuri had played his trick with the whipped cream on a Saturday.It was now the following Thursday, and Viktor still hadn’t done anything to get him back.Yuuri trusted his husband, and knew that Viktor would never do anything to hurt him, but he also knew the Russian man was clever and petty as hell.He would want to do something good to get back at Yuuri for posting that picture of him on Instagram.The anticipation was making Yuuri jumpy, and he was sure that was exactly what Viktor wanted. 

“Good morning, zolotse,” Viktor murmured, coming out of the bathroom in a billow of steam from the shower.Yuuri mumbled sleepily, shoving his face in his pillow to block out the light from the bathroom and the whir of the shower fan. 

Viktor crossed the room and leaned down to kiss him on the forehead.“Yuura, you need to get up soon,” he murmured.“We should really be at the rink in forty five minutes.” 

“Don’ wanna,” Yuuri slurred, burrowing further under the covers. 

“Hm,” Viktor murmured.He carded his fingers through Yuuri’s hair.“I’ll give you a kiss,” he said. 

Yuuri sighed, and blearily opened his eyes.Viktor was kneeling in front of him, silvery bangs covering his left eye, only a towel around his waist.“You would kiss me anyway,” Yuuri pointed out through a yawn.“I’m not convinced you could go a whole day without kissing me.” 

Viktor laughed.“Probably true,” he murmured, and leaned in to kiss Yuuri.Yuuri closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of his husband’s lips on his, until Viktor pulled away.Yuuri chased the kiss with a whine of complain, but Viktor just tapped his nose.“Up, Yuura,” he said.“Or I’m stealing your comforter.” 

“You’re so mean to me,” Yuuri sighed, using one of his husband's favorite complaints, but rolled out of bed, taking the comforter with him. 

“Please don’t bring the blankets in the shower with you,” Viktor requested, turning and walking back to the bathroom.Yuuri took a moment to enjoy the view before following, grabbing his training clothes on the way. 

Viktor was standing in front of the mirror shaving when Yuuri got out of the shower, hair still wet and falling limply over his face.“What are we doing for breakfast?” Viktor asked, glancing at Yuuri in the mirror. 

Yuuri wanted to brush his husband’s hair out his eyes so he could look at Viktor properly, but all he said was, “I’m making eggs and toast.Do you want any?” 

“You’re perfect,” Viktor said with a smile, blowing him a kiss. 

Yuuri smiled back and got dressed before coming up behind Viktor and wrapping his arms around his waist, pressing his face against Viktor’s shoulder.“What are we doing in training today?” he asked. 

Viktor hummed thoughtfully.“Working on your quad lutz,” he said.“It was sloppy at Japanese Nationals.” 

“Viktor, that was a month ago,” Yuuri mumbled. 

“I know that,” Viktor said patiently.“But we can’t do quad axel practice today, you have more than enough bruises from yesterday.” 

“Vitya, if I don’t practice I’m not going to be able to land it in competition at Worlds,” Yuuri pointed out. 

“You should save it until you’re sure you can land it it competition, anyway,” Viktor said thoughtfully.“Surprise everyone by changing your triple to a quad and landing it perfectly.Besides, no one but the skaters on Team Russia know you’re working on it.” 

“I… might have told Phichit,” Yuuri admitted. 

Viktor raised an eyebrow.“Scratch that, then, the whole world knows.” 

“I don’t think he’s let anything slip yet,” Yuuri said, and then kissed the back of Viktor’s neck.“I’m going to make breakfast.” 

“Thank you, zolotse,” Viktor said, washing the rest of the shaving cream off his face and rummaging in the drawer for his hairdryer. 

Yuuri smiled, wandering into the kitchen and pulling out a frying pan.He cracked a few eggs into the pan as the hair dryer went on in the bathroom, filling the apartment with a soft, familiar hum.Yuuri’s smile widened fondly.Viktor liked to think he was surprising, but to Yuuri he was wonderfully, adorably predictable, at least about his hair. 

Viktor wandered out of the bathroom a few minutes later, dressed and ready for the day, just as Yuuri was setting their plates on the table.“Love you,” Viktor said cheerfully, pecking Yuuri on the cheek before sitting down next to him. 

Yuuri smiled back.“You too.” 

Viktor looked down at his plate and picked up his fork, hair falling over his eyes. 

“Viktor, do you need a barrette?” Yuuri asked, taking a bite of egg.“Your hair is getting longer, it might be hard to skate with it in your eyes.” 

“I’m fine,” Viktor said with a smile, and then closed his eyes as he took a bite of egg, groaning.“You have to teach me how to cook like this one day,” he ordered. 

“Vitya, it’s not that hard,” Yuuri laughed.“It’s just eggs.” 

“Still,” Viktor mumbled through his mouthful of food.“Somehow it tastes a million times better when you do it.I can make eggs, but yours are just so much better.” 

Yuuri smiled as he finished his food and got up, putting his plate in the sink.Viktor kissed him briefly when he turned, and then patted Yuuri on the back.“Go get your bag,” he said.“I’ll walk Makka and meet you at the rink.” 

Yuuri smiled teasingly.“Yes,  _coach._ ” 

“Is that all I am to you?” Viktor cried dramatically.Yuuri snickered.The two men parted ways, Yuuri off to the ice rink to begin practice and Viktor taking his turn to walk Makkachin. 

Yuuri was mostly warmed up and doing doubles, arguing good-naturedly with Yurio, when Viktor finally walked in.“Stupid pig, you can't possibly think that the books are better than the movies,” Yurio snapped, punctuating his words with a triple loop. 

“I hope you’re not calling my husband stupid,” Viktor called across the mostly-empty ice, setting his bag down at the rink side. 

“Your husband  _is_  stupid,” Yurio said, rolling his eyes.“Almost as stupid as you.” 

“You wound me, Yurio,” Viktor said with a smirk, sitting down to lace up his skates. Yurio snorted, working through part of the step sequence in his free program.Yuuri built up speed and launched himself into a clean triple flip before skating over to his husband. 

Yurio followed, scowling, hair over his eyes.“Why are you late, old man?” he said. 

“I’m not late, Yurio,” Viktor pouted.“Yakov’s not even here yet!” 

Yurio skated up to the barrier and slid to a stop, Yuuri behind him.Yurio’s eyes widened, and he snapped something in Russian too quick for Yuuri to understand, gesturing at Viktor’s face.Viktor smiled and shook his head, putting his hands out.“Please don’t, Yurio,” he said, and then added something in a dialect of Russian that Yuuri didn’t speak.To his surprise Yurio laughed, nodding.Viktor grinned back, and turned his attention back to his skates, hair flopping over his face. 

“Do you want me to film?” Yurio asked, and Yuuri threw hima curious glance.Yurio ignored him, focused on Viktor. 

Viktor looked up, grinning.“Actually, yes,” he said. 

“What are you two talking about?” Yuuri finally asked. 

Yurio gave him an evil grin.“Wouldn’t you like to know?” 

Yuuri rolled his eyes.That probably meant it wasn’t something important, but the younger man just wanted to keep his air of “mystery.”“If you say so, Yurio,” Yuuri sighed, turning on his heel and skating back out into the center of the rink, taking the starting position of his short program. 

“From the top, but don’t do all the jumps yet,” Viktor ordered, joining him on the ice.Yurio had apparently decided to slack off and was on the side of the rink, smirking down at his phone.Yuuri took a deep breath, smiled at Viktor, and then started his program.He skated through it once, changing the quads to triples or doubles, before coming to a stop in his ending position, breathing hard. 

“Wonderful!” Viktor exclaimed, clapping as he skated towards Yuuri. 

Yuuri pushed his hair away from his sweaty face.“Vitya, I stepped out of a double,” he said.“A double  _loop._ ” 

Viktor chuckled.“It’s early yet, and you're not completely warmed up,” he said.“I don’t even think it’s seven.” 

“Ugh,” Yuuri mumbled, closing his eyes.“Don’t remind me.” 

Viktor slid to a stop in front of him.“You took off too early on the triple Salchow, too,” he said.“Like this.” 

Without missing a beat Viktor skated around Yuuri and built up speed before taking off into a perfectly executed triple Salchow, landing it and skating back to Yuuri.His hand came up unconsciously to brush his hair out of his eyes before he froze, lowering his hand and leaving his hair falling over his eyes.Yuuri squinted at him, and then skated towards him. 

“Vitya, you’re going to fall if you have your hair in your eyes,” he said reprovingly. 

Yuuri reached out and moved to brush Viktor’s bangs out of his left eye.He lifted Viktor’s bangs out of his eyes to expose an empty socket, with no eye in sight.Yuuri shrieked and jumped back, gracelessly falling on his ass.Yurio started cackling from the side of the rink, and Viktor doubled over, giggling.Yuuri gaped at him, and then brushed Viktor’s hair out of his eyes again to see that Viktor  _did_  have an eye, it was just covered with a piece of skin-colored tape. 

“Like it?” Viktor said with a smirk, pulling the tape off, wincing when part of his eyebrow came with it.“I told you I’d get you back for the whipped cream thing.” 

He offered Yuuri a hand up, which Yuuri grudgingly accepted.“That wasn’t a terrible prank,” he said, and then eyed the piece of tape in Viktor’s hand.“How long were you planning on wearing that?” he asked. 

Viktor grinned at him.“However long it took you to notice,” he replied, and then raised an eyebrow.“I’m surprised it took you this long, actually.” 

Yuuri bit his lip.“Your hair normally covers your eyes, anyway,” he said. 

Viktor folded the tape into a neat square.“I’m so insulted, Yuuri!” he exclaimed, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead.“You don’t even look at me anymore!” 

“Vitya, do you want me to email the video to you?” Yurio called, sounding a little breathless from laughing. 

“Please do!” Viktor exclaimed. 

“That’s what he was talking about?” Yuuri asked, a little betrayed. 

Viktor nodded.“ _Yurio_  noticed right away,” he said pointedly, before breaking into another fit of giggles.“Zolotse, your reaction was priceless,” he said happily. 

“I’m posting this video to Instagram,” Yurio yelled.“It’s called ‘Skater Screams When He Realizes How Ugly His Husband Is.’Pretty accurate, right?” 

“Yuuuuurio!” Viktor whined, skating over to the barrier.“At least add #theprankwarison, or else no one will know that I got Yuura back!” 

Yuuri followed, blushing and covering his face with his hands.He was going to have to think of something  _good_  as revenge.

 

___________________________________________

 

Viktor was freezing when he got back from walking Makkachin a few days later.He breathed a sigh of relief when he stepped inside the apartment building.He was Russian, true, but St. Petersburg in the winter wasn’t fun for anyone. 

Makkachin barked happily, shaking the frost of her snowy fur.Viktor shivered theatrically and pulled one glove off with his teeth, fumbling for his key.Lucky Yuuri had opted out of the walk, and Viktor could imagine his husband sitting on the couch with the heat on curled up in a fuzzy blanket, cupping the hot mug of tea he always had before going to bed. 

On days when it wasn’t fun to walk Makka, like at eight o’clock in the dead of winter, he and Yuuri took turns.Viktor was vindictively looking forward to the next day, when he could stay in bed for an extra fifteen minutes while Yuuri walked their dog before practice. 

Viktor finally succeeded in finding his key and unlocked the door, already looking forward to curling up with Yuuri and watching bad TV while warming his freezing feet on his husband's fabulous thighs.He unlocked the door and Makkachin immediately slipped through the crack, panting happily.Viktor chuckled, dropping his keys back in his pocket before throwing the door open. 

“Yuuri, I’m home!” he started, but before he could finish a hideous noise blared out from behind him.Viktor yelped and sprung back, almost tripping over his own feet.The door slammed shut behind him as the noise cut off, and Viktor pressed a hand to his chest, breathing hard. 

Yuuri wandered out from the living room, wrapped in a blanket.“Hello, dear,” he said with a grin. 

Viktor glanced behind him, noticing for the first time the air horn taped to the door, positioned so that it would make noise when the door was opened.“You- You,” Viktor stammered. 

Yuuri snickered.“Unfortunately I didn’t get your reaction on tape,” Yuuri said, pulling the blanket more tightly around himself.“But you can’t erase it from my memory.” 

“That was  _devious_ ,” Viktor breathed.He took his coat off, hands still trembling with adrenaline. 

Yuuri blinked innocently.“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Vitya,” he said. 

Viktor snorted, hung up his coat, and then pried the air horn off the wall.“Where did you even  _get_  this?” he asked. 

Yuuri’s smile turned slightly evil.“Yurio, who else?” 

Viktor raised an eyebrow.“Where did  _he_  get them?” 

Yuuri just shrugged.“I’ve found it’s better not to ask.” 

Viktor handed him the air horn.“I’m going to use the bathroom,” he said.“But then I  _will_  be getting my revenge.My feet are very cold.” 

Yuuri gasped in mock horror.Viktor raised an eyebrow and then wandered down the hall to the bathroom.He stifled a yawn as he reached the door.After a day of practice he was tired, and it didn’t help that today had been a quad day.He didn’t have the sort of endurance he used to, and he couldn’t even hold a candle to Yuuri’s stamina. 

Viktor pushed open the bathroom door, and then screamed when the air horn noise blared from inside the dark room.He slammed into the wall behind him as he backpedaled rapidly, and the noise cut off when the door closed.Viktor took several deep, gulping breaths, trying to get some air into his lungs, and heard a loud laugh from the living room. 

“Fuck you!” he shouted, and then cautiously opened the bathroom door again.He jumped when the air horn sounded, but this time didn’t scream and managed to get inside and let the door close behind him so the noise cut off.Sure enough, when he flicked the lights on he found an air horn taped behind the door.“That clever bastard,” Viktor said with grudging respect, peeling the tape off and setting the air horn on the floor by the tub. 

He went about his business and then walked back out into the living room, holding the air horn.Yuuri was curled up on the couch again, only his head sticking out of his blanket, drinking tea and watching the news.Viktor set the air horn down on a table and paused, taking a moment to appreciate how adorable his husband was wrapped in a blanket burrito with his glasses sliding down his nose and his hair mussed and sticking up in back and his cheeks slightly flushed.That done, he crossed the room and plucked the mug from Yuuri’s hands. 

“Hey, I was drinking that!” Yuuri said indignantly, but evidently couldn’t stop the smirk from tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

Viktor set the mug down out of the way before collapsing on top of Yuuri.“I don’t think you  _deserve_  tea,” he whispered, cupping Yuuri’s face in his hands. 

“Ah, you’re cold!” Yuuri exclaimed, flinching. 

Viktor laughed.“You’ll just have to warm me up, then,” he purred, and pressed his freezing lips to Yuuri’s. 

Yuuri initially shrunk away, surprised by the temperature, and then pulled Viktor closer.Viktor wormed into Yuuri’s blanket burrito, and curled up in his arms as they kissed.The kisses started out gentle, but unsurprisingly it didn’t take long to turn heated, and Viktor made a pleased sound when Yuuri slid his warm hands up his shirt.He clenched his fingers to make sure they were warm enough and then reciprocated, stroking up and down Yuuri’s sides as they kissed open-mouthed.Yuuri panted into his mouth, fingers toying with the waistband of Viktor’s pants, and Viktor pulled away from the kiss for a moment to catch his breath. 

“Maybe we should take this to the bedroom,” he breathed, looking down at Yuuri. 

The Japanese man gazed back up at him with wide eyes, lips kiss-stung and parted slightly, glasses crooked.“Absolutely,” Yuuri murmured. 

Unable to wait, Viktor desperately pressed their lips together again, sliding Yuuri’s shirt up. 

“Bed,” Yuuri panted, clutching at Viktor’s arm. 

They disentangled themselves from the blankets and stumbled towards the bedroom, still frantically kissing and groping each other.Viktor took the upper hand and pressed his husband against their bedroom door, hands resting on Yuuri’s chest under his shirt and one knee between his thighs. 

“Viktor…” Yuuri panted, scrabbling behind them for the doorknob to let them in.He found it and the door opened.Viktor gently pushed Yuuri in, still kissing him.They pawed at each other, kissing urgently, until the door swung open  and an air horn suddenly blared. 

Yuuri and Viktor both screeched in surprise, jumping away from each other.“What the-” Viktor gasped, clutching at his chest, and then turned on Yuuri.“ _Really,_ Yuuri?” he snapped. 

Yuuri covered his face with his hands, the tips of his ears going red.“I forgot it was there!” he whined. 

Viktor frowned, and pried the air horn off the wall before tossing it somewhere in the direction of the bathroom. 

“I guess that killed the mood,” Yuuri mumbled miserably, looking woebegone. 

Viktor took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart, and then stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his husband.“I think the mood can be resuscitated,” he murmured. 

Yuuri blinked up at him, eyes wide.“As long as you don’t use words like resuscitated during sex,” he whispered back. 

Viktor chuckled, leaning in to kiss him as his hands wandered lower to rest on Yuuri’s ass.“I hope you realize, though,” he murmured against Yuuri’s lips as his husband fiddled with the button of his pants.“My revenge is going to be stellar.” 

Yuuri just groaned, and pushed him towards the bed.

___________________________________________

 

Yuuri very much liked sleep.That was a well known fact.Viktor was an unforgivably cheery morning person who could be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at five AM, and Yuuri was the night owl happy to stay up until one in the morning. 

That was why Yuuri really didn’t appreciate the alarm on his phone going off at stupid o’clock in the morning on his rest day, buzzing like mad and playing some Russian pop song. 

Yuuri groaned, zombie-like, and fumbled for his phone on the bedside table.There was a conspicuously empty spot beside Yuuri in the bed, and combined with the choice of alarm music and the early hour it was logical to conclude that Viktor was somehow at fault. 

Yuuri managed to get the alarm to stop making noise without opening his eyes, and then turned on his phone and squinted at the painfully bright screen.Under the utterly ridiculous time of 5:15 AM (Yuuri silently started plotting murder) was the message that could be inputted to an alarm:

**YOU’VE BEEN PRANKED! ;)**

Yuuri covered his face with his pillow and burrowed back under the covers, mumbling Japanese curses and complaints.If Viktor was lucky, Yuuri would forget about this by the time he actually woke up at eight. 

“Yuura~!” Viktor trilled, coming out of the bathroom with an enormous smile.For a moment bright light spilled out of the room before he flicked it off. 

Yuuri mumbled incoherently and covered himself in blankets. 

“I’m so glad you’re awake, darling,” Viktor cooed, climbing back into bed and clinging to Yuuri immediately like a limpet, pressing his cold feet against Yuuri’s calves. 

Without an ounce of remorse, Yuuri pushed his husband off the bed.

*

“So what’s with this trending tag on Twitter?” Phichit asked, voice slightly tinny over the phone.“#theprankwarison?I feel like there’s a story there.” 

Yuuri chuckled, pressing his phone to his ear as he skated absent figures in the empty ice rink.He technically wasn’t supposed to have his phone on the ice, but Phichit had called just as Yuuri was beginning his cool-down from the day’s practice, and Yuuri didn’t talk to Phichit enough these days to justify ignoring a call.“Vitya and I sort of have a prank war going on,” he admitted, staring up at the ceiling as he unconsciously skated a large, looping heart on the ice. 

“Ooh, exciting!” Phichit exclaimed, and Yuuri could picture his friend relaxing back on his bed and getting ready to hear the juicy gossip, just like back in college.“Who’s winning?” 

“I don’t know,” Yuuri admitted.“I think we’re tied at this point.He got me with an alarm yesterday morning way too early, so I think it’s my turn.I have a really good idea, too.” 

“Spill,” Phichit demanded. 

Yuuri laughed, grinning.“I don’t think I will,” he said.“I need to keep some element of surprise.Just keep an eye on Instagram in the next few days.It will be pretty obvious what I’ve done once I’ve done it.” 

“Yuuri!” Phichit whined.“That does nothing to help my curiosity!” 

Yuuri just smiled, deciding to do one more lap around the rink before getting off the ice.It was late, and he was hungry, and Viktor was probably almost finished changing.“Come on, just a hint,” Phichit wheedled. 

“Alright, but you can’t post anything on Instagram,” Yuuri replied, relenting.Even after years, he couldn’t keep secrets from his best friend. 

“I promise,” Phichit said eagerly.“Yuuri, this better be good, I have high expectations after our prank wars in Detroit.” 

“Oh, it’s good,” Yuuri promised.“I’m going to-”

BLAHT!BLAHT!BLAHT! 

Yuuri yelped and choked on his own spit as he dropped his phone, tripping over his ice skates and almost tumbling to the ice when an alarm sounded almost painfully loud in his ears.Yuuri coughed, trying to breathe, and then skated over to where his phone was lying on the ice and turned off the alarm.The message on the screen read:

**PRANKED AGAIN! ;) XD**   

“-uuri?Yuuri, where’d you go?” Phichit was saying when Yuuri put his phone back to his ear. 

“Sorry, Phichit-kun,” he said breathlessly, halting in the middle of the ice rink. 

“What happened, Yuuri?” Phichit asked, a laugh in his voice.“You sound a little flustered.” 

“I just got pranked again,” Yuuri admitted.He heard the door to the locker room open behind him and turned to see Viktor walk out with his skate bag in hand and a bright smile on his face.Viktor waved, and Yuuri waved back. 

“An alarm?” Phichit said sympathetically in his ear. 

“Uh, yeah,” Yuuri answered absently, skating towards the edge of the rink.“I have to go, sorry Phichit,” he said when he was close enough to realize that Viktor’s smile wasn’t  _quite_  as pure and guileless as it had first seemed. 

“Yeah, go get it, Yuuri!” Phichit exclaimed, and he was still laughing when Yuuri hung up. 

“How was cool-down, zolotse?” Viktor asked, smiling innocently and leaning against the edge of the rink.Yuuri just smiled back.He would have to revenge himself that night.It was a good thing he knew all of his husband’s tickle spots.

*

The third time Viktor set an alarm, Yuuri was ready to slap him.It was around one in the morning, which wasn’t normally late for Yuuri, but they had just finished having mind-blowing sex and Yuuri was exhausted. 

“You’re amazing, zolotse,” Viktor panted, coming down from his high and cuddling Yuuri close.“I love you so much.” 

Yuuri murmured in agreement, nuzzling Viktor’s neck.“Love you too,” he murmured. 

“We should clean up,” Viktor murmured, running his fingers through Yuuri’s hair. 

“In a mo’,” Yuuri mumbled, pressing his cheek to Viktor’s chest.“‘m tired.” 

Viktor kissed the top of his head.“Must have been good, if I’ve managed to tire you out,” he whispered. 

“Mm,” Yuuri breathed, eyes drooping closed.He felt safe, warm, cared for and wrapped in the arms of the love of his life after they had just demonstrated their devotion to each other.It was moments like these that the depressed Yuuri after the Sochi GPF, four long years ago, wouldn’t have believed possible.The moment was absolutely perfect.Yuuri was unspeakably happy, his heart full of love- 

And then the alarm on his phone began blaring right in his ear.“Viktor!” Yuuri shouted, slapping at his phone until the alarm mercifully turned off. 

“Fuck,” Viktor muttered.“I forgot I set that.” 

“What the hell!” Yuuri yelled, hitting Viktor’s chest. 

“Oops?” Viktor said, pulling a face. 

“I hate you so much right now,” Yuuri mumbled, falling back on top of his husband and hugging him tightly. 

“I can tell,” Viktor replied, resting a hand on Yuuri’s lower back. 

“Hmph,” Yuuri complained, pressing his face against Viktor’s chest.“No more alarms, or so help me God-” 

“Don’t worry,” Viktor said quickly.“After that last one, I’m regretting my life choices a little.” 

“Good,” Yuuri whispered.Viktor buried his nose in Yuuri’s hair, holding him close as the drifted to sleep, tangled together. 

“Your move,” Yuuri thought he heard Viktor whisper, just on the edge of his dreams.

___________________________________________

 

One of Viktor’s simple joys in life was singing in the shower.It didn’t matter to him that he had absolutely no sense of tone, and a very limited range.Yuuri never complained when Viktor warbled tunelessly while he shampooed his hair, and that was one of the endless reasons why Viktor loved his Yuuri. 

Viktor turned off the water just as he finished the final bar of the sappy love ballad he had been belting out, and smiled for a moment at his fabulous singing before pushing aside the shower curtain and grabbing his towel.He continued to hum as he toweled off his hair before stepping out of the shower and swirling the towel around his shoulders like a cape.Viktor faced the mirror and leaned forward, squinting at his blurry reflection.Maybe it was just the steam on the mirror, but his vision was a little fuzzy.He might need to get glasses soon.God, at thirty one he was really turning into an old man.He couldn’t even see the silver glint of his hair in the mirror, only a smudge of pink behind his head…

Viktor froze.The bathroom was painted a relaxing green-blue color with a white ceiling.Yuuri’s towel, hanging on the door behind him, was navy blue, and Viktor’s was lavender.So why was Viktor seeing smudges of pink? 

Viktor scrubbed at the steam covering a portion of the mirror, and then screeched when he got a clear view of himself.His hair, still slicked back and wet from the shower, was a cotton-candy pink color. 

“What the-”Viktor whispered, ruffling his fingers through his hair.His bangs fell over his eye, and pink hair framed his vision.He stared at himself.“How-?”He looked down at his hands, and noticed that his fingertips had just the slightest pink tinge.“Oh, he  _didn’t_ ,” Viktor breathed, and then scrambled to get his shampoo from the shower.He poured a little into his palm and sure enough, there was a reddish-pink tinge to it. 

Viktor swallowed hard, washed the shampoo off his hands, and then studied himself in the mirror again.This was undoubtably Yuuri’s prank, his revenge for all the alarms Viktor had set on his phone.Viktor knew that his husband was well-aware of how finicky he was about his hair, and definitely wouldn’t have pranked him with permanent dye.But it looked… not terrible, actually. 

Viktor leaned forward, playing with his bangs.The pink color sort of offset his eyes, and it wasn’t an obnoxious shade either, more of a soft baby pink that reminded Viktor of a sunrise.“Huh,” Viktor said out loud.He frowned thoughtfully as he dried off and got dressed, and then eyed his reflection again.He could work with this.This was manageable.The air horn prank had been worse, actually.At least pink hair probably wouldn’t give him a heart attack.Viktor did his normal hair care routine, marveling at the color all the while.He actually didn’t hate it.It wasn’t so bad. 

Viktor finished getting ready for the day and left the bathroom, calling for Yuuri.No one answered, and after a moment Viktor wandered into the kitchen to see a plate with food and a cup of coffee waiting for him on the table, along with a note on a bright pink post-it note. 

_I walked Makka, I’ll meet you at the rink! Enjoy your breakfast :)_

_Love, Yuuri_

Viktor smiled in spite of himself.Even when pranking him, his husband was sweet and considerate.He sat at the table and wolfed down the breakfast Yuuri had made for him before washing his dishes.Makkachin trotted into the bedroom as he was getting his skate bag, and rubbed against his legs, barking inquisitively.

“Did Yuuri walk you, sweetie?” Viktor cooed, bending down to kiss his puppy on the nose.Makkachin panted, and then curiously licked at his pink bangs.“Not food, Makka,” Viktor laughed, patting her on the head.“Just your Papa Yuuri being mean to me.”Makka cocked her head.“I’ll see you later, Makka,” Viktor said, giving her one last pet before making his way to the door.Viktor slipped his coat over his shoulders and grabbed his bag, snagging a woolen beanie as an afterthought.Then he could do a dramatic reveal of his hair.

Most of the other skaters were already on the ice by the time Viktor reached the rink.“Vitya!” Yakov called, turning from where he was watching Yurio practice step sequences.“Why are you late?”

“Sorry, Yakov,” Viktor said with a grin, pulling off his hat and stuffing it in the pocket of his coat.“I’ll be more on time tomorrow.”

Yakov stared at him open-mouthed.On the ice, both Mila and Yurio came to a standstill, staring at him as well.Viktor noticed Yuuri off in his own corner of the rink, pressing both hands to his mouth to keep himself from giggling.

“Vitya, what…?” Yakov started and then trailed off, apparently at a loss for words.

Viktor gave him a wide smile and sat down, sliding off his street shoes.“Do you like it?” he asked, carelessly flicking his pink bangs out of his eyes.

“It’s certainly surprising, Vitya,” Mila laughed, skating over to the barrier for a closer look.Yuuri and Yurio weren’t far behind, and now that he was closer Viktor could see Yuuri’s shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter.

“Is this part of that stupid prank war?” Yurio asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

That did it for Yuuri, who doubled over laughing.“My Yuura, I’m so insulted!” Viktor called in a teasing, lilting voice.“Do you not like my hair?”He tightened the laces on his skates and then got up, stepping onto the ice.Yuuri snorted with laughter.

Viktor pouted, wrapping his arms around his husband and hanging off of him.“I’m starting to think this was a prank, zolotse, and not a special surprise for me,” he said in Yuuri’s ear.

Yuuri giggled, and then turned his head to kiss Viktor on the cheek.“My prank sort of backfired on me,” he admitted, really looking at Viktor for the first time.“I should have known that you would look just as striking with pink hair as with silver.”

“You flatter me, darling,” Viktor purred.

 

“Vitya, I can’t even say I’m all that surprised,” Yakov sighed, and waved a dismissive hand.“Just warm up.We don’t have time to waste if you want to finish your final season on the podium.”

“Now my medals won’t match my hair,” Viktor observed to Yuuri, running his fingers through the pink strands.Yuuri followed the movement, swallowing, before refocusing on Viktor’s face.

“Huh?Oh, it’s not permanent,” he said.“It should come out with a few good washes.”

“Hm,” Viktor said thoughtfully.He pinched a few strands of his bangs between his fingers and held them out so he could see them.“I actually sort of like it,” he said.“Are you sure it doesn’t look terrible, zolotse?”

Maybe it was Viktor’s imagination, but Yuuri was blushing a little when he said, “You, um.You look good.”

“You look like an anime character!” Yurio shouted as he whizzed past.Viktor and Yuuri both ignored him.

Yuuri licked his lips, and then ran his fingers through Viktor’s hair.“Um.Really good.”

“Yuura, are you turned on by this?” Viktor murmured.The blush in Yuuri’s cheeks was answer enough.“Interesting,” Viktor observed softly.“We’ll have to look into that when we get home.” Yuuri gulped.

“Yuura!” Viktor gasped, the seductive tone of voice disappearing as something occurred to him.“The color you dyed my hair, it matches my Stammi Vision costume!Do you know what this means?”

“What?” Yuuri asked, eyes still wide.

Viktor smiled at him.“We’ll just have to dye your hair blue,” he replied, touching the short hairs at the nape of Yuuri’s neck.Yuuri went red, and then buried his face in Viktor’s neck.

“Get a room!” Yurio shouted, whirling into a spin to hide his smile.  


*  


Absolutely no one was surprised when Yuuri came in to the rink for practice a few days later with blue streaks in his hair.

___________________________________________  


“Zolotse, my arm is falling asleep,” Viktor murmured, shifting a little uncomfortably on the couch.

“Oops, sorry,” Yuuri mumbled, immediately moving a little so his weight wasn’t on his husband’s arm.

Viktor kissed the top of his head.“Don’t worry about it, darling,” he said, and then took a sip of wine from his glass.

Yuuri sighed contentedly and snuggled closer to Viktor’s side.The two skaters were curled up on the couch together, wrapped in blankets as snow fell outside.A muted movie played on the TV, but they were both more interested in each other as they shared a bottle of wine and cuddled together.

Viktor stifled a cute little yawn, resting his cheek on the top of Yuuri’s head.“Viten’ka,” Yuuri murmured, resting his hand on top of Viktor’s.Viktor smiled slightly as he turned his palm face up and intertwined their fingers.“Do you want to go to bed soon?” Yuuri asked.

“Mm,” Viktor replied softly.“Maybe when I finish this.”He swilled the last few mouthfuls of his wine around the bottom of his glass.

“M’kay,” Yuuri mumbled in reply.He took a sip of his own drink and let his eyes flutter closed.He was tipsy enough from the alcohol that he felt a little drowsy, but not enough to qualify as drunk.

“I love you, zolotse,” Viktor murmured, nosing Yuuri’s hair.

Yuuri smiled sleepily.“Love you too,” he replied in soft, accented Russian.

Viktor drained his glass and set it on the floor out of the way before pulling Yuuri into his lap.“Careful!” Yuuri giggled, and then swallowed his final sip of wine as well before setting the glass beside Viktor’s.

Viktor kissed him on the tip of his nose.“You’re so cute,” he said affectionately.

Yuuri pecked him on the lips.“So are you,” he said.

Viktor reached up and ran his fingers through Yuuri’s hair.“I was right, blue is a good color on you,” he said.

Yuuri smiled.“Pink is nice on you,” he replied.Viktor smiled back.

The pink color in his hair had faded after a few showers, but the tinge was still clearly visible.The blue streaks in Yuuri’s hair had faded as well, from navy blue to a softer hue, but unlike Viktor he didn’t necessarily intend to re-dye it.Viktor had mentioned a few times to Yuuri that he was thinking about keeping his hair pink, purely for the audience reaction at Worlds, and in response Yuuri had bought him more of the dye he had used and offered to help him if he went through with it.

Viktor gave Yuuri an eskimo kiss, and then brushed his lips over Yuuri’s cheekbone before whispering, “Bed?I feel like I’m about to fall asleep.”

“Sounds perfect,” Yuuri said, hiding a yawn behind his hand.

“You’re so cute when you yawn,” Viktor all but cooed, but let go of Yuuri’s waist so he could get up.

Yuuri turned off the TV and picked up their wine glasses from the floor as Viktor folded their blankets and left them in a pile on the couch.Yuuri yawned again as he shuffled into the kitchen in his fuzzy socks, and set about washing out their wine glasses.A movement flickered in the corner of his eye and he turned, expecting to see his husband appear, looking for affection.Instead, Yuuri saw what looked like the tail of a cat whip around the corner.Yuuri blinked, rubbing at his eyes behind his glasses, and then turned off the water in the sink and walked towards the corner.He peeked around, but there was nothing there.

“Viten’ka?” Yuuri called warily.

“Da, lyubov moya?” Viktor called in return, voice fuzzy.He stuck his head out of the bedroom a moment later, toothbrush trapped between his lips.

“Is there a cat in our apartment?” Yuuri asked cautiously.

Viktor frowned, and took the toothbrush out of his mouth.“No?” he said.“Are you sure you didn’t see Makka?”

Yuuri laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.“Heh, yeah, you’re probably right,” he said.“Sorry.”

Viktor blew him a kiss before ducking back into the ensuite bathroom to spit into the sink.

Yuuri shook his head.He was clearly exhausted, and more intoxicated than he had realized, to think that Makkachin was a cat, of all things.He finished washing the wine glasses and turned off the lamp in the living room before joining Viktor in the bathroom to brush his teeth.The two climbed into bed together after changing into pajamas, and Yuuri immediately curled up in Viktor’s embrace.

Viktor sighed contentedly, nose resting in the hollow of Yuuri’s collarbone, and then whispered, “Why did you think Makka was a cat?”

“Never mind,” Yuuri whispered, resting a hand on Viktor’s arm.“I’m very tired.And maybe drunk.”

“Well, you aren’t wearing very many clothes,” Viktor murmured in a voice slightly slurred with exhaustion and alcohol, slipping into Russian in the middle of the sentence.

“Mm,” Yuuri agreed, and drifted off to sleep in his Viktor’s arms.

*

Predictably, Viktor was already out of bed the next morning by the time Yuuri woke up.

Yuuri smiled slowly and opened his eyes a crack as he came to, reveling in the silken sheets against his arms, the warm comforter lovingly tucked around him, the soft sunlight peeking through the cracks in the curtains and falling in bars on the floor.He inhaled, smelling the scent of Viktor’s shampoo on his pillow paired with coffee brewing in the kitchen and something food-like that smelled very good.

Yuuri lingered in bed for a few more minutes before crawling out from under the blankets, blearily grabbing the first jacket he found and putting it on.He fumbled for his glasses and slid them up his nose before shuffling out into the kitchen.

“Good morning, zolotse, I was just going to come wake you up!” Viktor said cheerfully, turning from where he was standing at the stove to smile at Yuuri.

“What are you making?” Yuuri asked, rubbing at one eye and yawning.

“It’s supposed to be eggs,” Viktor said with a laugh.“We’ll see how good they turn out.”

“I’m sure it will be delicious,” Yuuri said, crossing the room and leaning against his husband.

Viktor smiled and kissed his temple.“You’re wearing my jacket,” he said thoughtfully.

Yuuri looked down, only mildly surprised to see that he had grabbed Viktor’s Team Russia jacket after getting out of bed.“Oops,” he said.“You were wearing my Team Japan jacket last week, so you don’t get to be mad.”

“I’m definitely not mad,” Viktor assured him, turning off the stove.He slid his arms around Yuuri’s waist.“I like it when you wear my clothes,” he mumbled into Yuuri’s hair.“It’s cute.”

Yuuri sighed happily and rested his cheek against Viktor’s chest.He focused on the kitchen table for the first time, and his eyes widened.A small tabby cat was sitting upright in the center of the table, haughtily licking one paw and ignoring the humans in the kitchen and the poodle curled up by the fridge.

“Vitya, why is there a cat on our table?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor looked down at him, frowning slightly.“Pardon?”

“A cat,” Yuuri repeated.“There’s a cat on our table.”

Viktor blinked.Blinked again.“I’m sorry, is that some sort of English colloquialism?” he said, baffled.“What do you mean by cat?”

Yuuri stepped away from Viktor, staring at the tabby.The cat looked up at him and made eye contact for a moment before going back to grooming.“I mean a literal cat,” Yuuri said, giving Viktor a hard look.He pointed.“Right there.”

Viktor followed his gesture, frowning in confusion at the table.“I don’t see a cat, Yuuri,” he said.

Yuuri squinted at him.“What do you mean?”

Viktor tilted his head slightly, a tiny wrinkle appearing between his brows.“I mean I have no idea what you’re talking about?” he said slowly, with the air of someone speaking to an insane person.

Yuuri stepped towards the table, intending to pick up the cat, but before he could grab it the animal sprung off the table and padded off down the hall.Viktor’s eyes didn’t follow the movement.His serious gaze stayed fixed on Yuuri, a worried frown on his face.

“How are you-”Yuuri started, and then turned on Viktor.“Is this your next prank?”

Viktor stared at him.“What?”

“This is your revenge for me dying your hair pink, isn’t it?” Yuuri demanded.“I don’t understand how ignoring a cat is a prank.”

Viktor moved the pan of scrambled eggs off the burner, and then gave Yuuri a genuinely worried look.“Zolotse, we don’t have a cat,” he said, and then stepped forward and pressed the back of his hand to Yuuri’s forehead.“Are you feeling aright?”

“Vitya, is this your next prank?” Yuuri asked, ignoring the question.

Viktor, apparently satisfied with Yuuri’s temperature, removed his hand and smiled coyly.“It would’t be much of a prank if I told you what I had planned, would it?” he pointed out.

“Viktor!” Yuuri snapped, half afraid he was going insane.Viktor might be mischievous in some situations, yes, but he wore his heart on his sleeve.Yuuri found it hard to believe that his husband would be able to act like this without breaking into a fit of giggles.

Viktor pouted at him, but said, “I was going to come home early from the rink today and hide all your clothes.Except the sexy ones.”

“So… no cats involved?” Yuuri asked cautiously.

Viktor shook his head slowly.“I’m not Yurio, zolotse,” he said.“I don’t have the same fondness for cats that he does.”

“Then I am officially going insane,” Yuuri muttered.

Viktor rested a hand on his shoulder.“Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” he asked.“Do you need to stay home from practice today?”

“I’m fine,” Yuuri mumbled.“Maybe I’m still asleep.”

Viktor bit his lip, but kissed Yuuri on the forehead.“Have a seat, alright?” he said, and then served Yuuri a plate of eggs and toast.

“Thanks,” Yuuri said.

Viktor sat down across from him and smiled.“Hopefully edible, at least,” he laughed.

Yuuri took a bite, and smiled.“They’re good, Vitya.”Just as he was about to take another bite, something twined around his ankles.Yuuri yelped, and peeked under the table.The cat was rubbing against his ankle and purring, looking up at him with wide eyes.Its tail brushed against Viktor’s foot, but Viktor didn’t react.

“Um…” Yuuri mumbled.He glanced between the cat at his feet and his plate, and then scooped some eggs and a few small pieces of toast into his palm before offering it to the cat under the table.

“Yuuri?” Viktor said, sounding equal parts amused and baffled.“Zolotse, what are you doing?”

“I’m feeding the cat,” Yuuri said, glaring at him.

Viktor raised an eyebrow.“Oh…kay then,” he drawled.“If um, if feeding the cat makes you happy…”

Yuuri sighed and shook his head.He fed the cat under the table off his plate until it seemed bored and walked away, and then resumed eating.

Viktor was watching him with raised eyebrows, but all he said was, “I’d like to do some quads practice after your ballet training today.”

“Sounds good,” Yuuri agreed, scarfing down the rest of his eggs.

“You landed the axel a few times in practice Monday, but it was wobbly,” Viktor continued, gesturing with his fork.“You need more consistency, and we don’t have much time to build that consistency up before Worlds.”

“I know,” Yuuri said.He tapped his plate with his fork.“I think the problem is my speed.Most of the times I fall it’s because I’m under rotating.”

“Hm,” Viktor said thoughtfully.“Maybe I should make you skate in circles around the rink until you can go fast enough.”

Yuuri snorted.“Somehow I don’t think that would be very effective,” he said, standing up to clear the table.

Viktor smiled, coming up behind him and kissing him on the back of the head.“Don’t worry about it, Yuura,” he said, and out of the corner of his eye Yuuri could see the cat prowling towards Makkachin before curling up on top of the poodle.Yuuri looked up at Viktor, who was smiling back at him.They kissed briefly, and then Yuuri went to get dressed.

He could feel the cat’s gaze on the back of his neck.

*  


“Hey!Hey, Yurio!” Yuuri called, catching the younger skater by the shoulder just before he left the ice rink that evening.

Yurio paused, raised an eyebrow.“Yeah?”

Yuuri hesitated, and then blurted, “Did you leave a cat at Viktor’s and my apartment?”

Yurio stared at him incredulously.“Excuse me?” he said.

“A cat,” Yuuri repeated.

Yurio made a face.“Like I would ever entrust a cat to you,” he sneered.“You and Viktor are dog people.I wouldn’t trust you to be able to take care of a cat.”

“So you didn’t leave a cat at our apartment?” Yuuri checked, and Yurio nodded.“Where’s Potya?” Yuuri asked, and Yurio frowned at him.

“Potya is back at Lilia and Yakov’s house,” he said, and then squinted suspiciously.“Did you steal my cat, Katsudon?”

“No, Yurio, I-” Yuuri started anxiously.

Footsteps clicked on the concrete floor behind them, and Yurio focused on the approaching person.“Viktor, did you steal my cat?” he demanded.

“Yuuri, this again?” Viktor sighed, coming up behind Yuuri and resting a hand on his shoulder.

“What?” Yurio asked curiously, arms crossed across his chest defensively.Despite being three years older and having gone through puberty, he hadn’t grown a remarkable amount and still reminded Yuuri of a kitten when he was angry.

Viktor raised an eyebrow, putting an arm around Yuuri’s waist and pulling him close.“He kept mistaking Makka for a cat this morning,” he said.

Yurio pulled a face.“Your mutt is way to ugly to be a cat,” he sniffed.

Viktor gasped in mock horror.“Yurio, I’m so insulted!”

“So you didn’t steal my cat,” Yurio checked, eyes flickering to Yuuri for a moment.

Viktor shook his head somberly.“We didn’t steal your cat,” he agreed.

Yuuri shuffled his feet.He felt like he was being teased, somehow, but couldn’t quite figure out exactly what they were teasing him about.“Ready to go home?” he asked, taking Viktor’s hand.Yuuri was tired, his feet hurt, and his legs were a little shaky with exhaustion from practicing quads for hours.

Viktor gave him an adoring smile.“Of course, zolotse,” he said, giving Yuuri a quick kiss.“See you tomorrow, Yurio.”

Yuuri and Viktor walked home in silence, hand in hand, and Yuuri gratefully collapsed on the couch and stretched out as soon as they were inside their apartment.“What do you want for dinner, darling?” Viktor asked, taking off his shoes and hanging his coat by the door.

“Ugh, can we get take out?” Yuuri asked, toeing off his own shoes and letting them fall to the floor by the couch.“I’m too tired to cook.”

“Of course,” Viktor said with a fond smile.He placed a call to one of their favorite restaurants to order from, and then joined Yuuri on the couch.“Do you want a foot rub while we wait for the food?” he asked, and Yuuri sighed happily.

“You’re perfect, Viten’ka.”

Viktor chuckled.“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Yuuri smiled at his husband as the older man gently slid his socks off and set about massaging his bruised, exhausted feet.Yuuri let his eyes fall shut as he gave in to the sensation of fingers gently kneading the sore muscles, slowly working out some of the pain.

And then there was a scritch of claws on the floor and a small meow, and a warm weight settled itself on Yuuri’s chest.Yuuri’s eyes popped open to see the cat curled up contentedly just under his chin.Viktor, still massaging his feet, didn’t seem to notice.

“Vitya, there’s a cat on my chest,” Yuuri said.

Viktor looked at him, eyes focused on Yuuri’s face and completely missing the cat.“Yuura, lyubov moya, is this your way of telling me you want to get a cat?”

“Forget about it,” Yuuri mumbled.“You’ll have to give up the game at some point.”

Viktor gave him a beatific smile.“Whatever you say, darling,” he replied indulgently.

Yuuri sighed and closed his eyes again as Viktor moved on to his other foot.Without thinking about it, Yuuri brought a hand up and started to pet the cat.The cat purred, nuzzling Yuuri’s neck.

If Yuuri had opened his eyes, he would have seen the small smile tugging at his husband’s lips as he watched his Yuuri cuddle with the cat he was watching for Yurio.

*

“Yuura- God, Yuurashka, please,” Viktor panted, breath hot against Yuuri’s bare skin.His blunt fingernails dug into Yuuri’s biceps as they moved together, hair sticking to his forehead with sweat.His eyes were half-closed, heavy lidded as he was overwhelmed with pleasure.

“Viten’ka,” Yuuri whispered, breathing the name like a prayer as he stared down at his beautiful husband.“Oh, Vit-Viten’ka, so good, so-”

Viktor pulled him down into a desperate kiss, pawing at Yuuri all the while as the pleasure built.Yuuri’s eyes fluttered closed as he clung to Viktor, tasted the sweat on Viktor’s cheek against his lips, listened to Viktor pant and moan and whisper endearments and entreatments in his ear.

“Yuura- close-!” Viktor gasped, muscles clenching.

“Me… too,” Yuuri managed to gasp in return.His eyes flew open as Viktor finished, and Yuuri was so close and everything was hot and soft and felt so good and he was at the edge-

And then the goddamn cat jumped up on the bed and stared at Yuuri with luminescent eyes.

Yuuri yelped, wrenching away from a blissed-out Viktor.

“Yuura?” Viktor whined, opening one eye and pushing sweaty pink hair from his face.

“That’s it,” Yuuri growled.He rolled out of bed and grabbed the cat, who yowled, and unceremoniously deposited it outside the bedroom before firmly closing and locking the door.

“Yuura, darling, come back to bed,” Viktor called in a sultry voice, still stretched out on the covers.“You didn’t even finish.”

“I give up,” Yuuri groaned, falling back on the bed had on top of his husband.“You win the prank war.”

Viktor pouted, pulling Yuuri up next to him and touching him gently.“Does that mean I don’t get to steal your clothes?” he asked.

Yuuri opened his mouth to answer, but Viktor touched him in just the right place and a moan spilled out.Viktor smiled.

They didn’t talk anymore for a little while.

*

“You know,” Viktor a while later.He and Yuuri were curled up in each other’s arms, and Yuuri was half asleep and extremely sated.

“Mm?” Yuuri mumbled, listening to the steady thump of his love’s heartbeat under his ear.

Viktor hummed thoughtfully, arm around Yuuri’s back tightening a little, and then said, “Cats should know it's impolite to walk in on a couple making love to each other. Yurio should really train his cats better.”

Yuuri felt absolutely no remorse over hitting his laughing husband repeatedly with a pillow.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know Makkachin would be hella old, but like... I can't kill off that puppy. The characters, sure but not that adorable puppy.
> 
> I'm so frickin awkward, that's why all the "sex" ends up awkward too because I can't write that stuff to save my life ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I think it's fluffy, though, and fluffy is generally good, so hopefully I checked that box at least. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, feel free to comment/ask questions if you have any or talk to me [here](https://iwritebetterthanispeak.tumblr.com/), and have a wonderful day, dear reader!


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